so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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