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okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
