i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
