I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
