I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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