i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
