I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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