I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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