why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
