Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
