idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I will pee on everything he values.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
