At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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