I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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