we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
