so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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