the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
