so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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