ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
