suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
