i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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