Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
