i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
where are you?
Hypothermia
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
