I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
