The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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