We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
