we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
