You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
