dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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