The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
