god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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