Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
