I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
