i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
