thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
