Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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