the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
