She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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