Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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