im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
