weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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