i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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