And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
