so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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