I heard we made out
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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