About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
if only i could text you this smell
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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