I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
