the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
