Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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