I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
