Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
